kristen schaal

kristen schaal

Daily Show’s Kristen Schaal Lectures Stewart’s Balls on ‘Manspreading’

2d ago
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With the scourge of “manspreading” apparently running rampant on New York City’s subways, Senior Women’s Issues Correspondent Kristen Schaal stopped by The Daily Show last night to let men know she thinks they deserve the extra room for their balls. “Do the math!” Schaal exclaimed. “Men make 30% more than women, they should have 30% more space on the ride to work.” When Jon Stewart protested this argument, she told him he had been so “brainwashed by this feminized world” that he’s failing to see the big picture. With women gaining power in all realms of life, Schaal said the subway is “the only place men have left,” adding, “We’ve literally driven you underground to find that last inch of ball space.” “As a woman who has struggled her whole life to keep her knees together, I am your ally,” Schaal told men everywhere. From there, she decided to deliver an impassioned monologue directly address Stewart’s testicles. Schaal went on to call manspreading “sexy,” saying, “When I’m in a subway car with all those men taking charge of the seats around them, I get so weak in the knees I can barely stand. But I have to.”