in the street

in the street

Our baby. Difficult day yesterday. Went to the pet store and on the way there several people stopped us in the street to give us a hug and say they were sorry for our loss. It's incredible, the love that is present. But at the store they had his favorite

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Our baby. Difficult day yesterday. Went to the pet store and on the way there several people stopped us in the street to give us a hug and say they were sorry for our loss. It's incredible, the love that is present. But at the store they had his favorite treats and all I could think about was death and how when Andrea died Pepper was the only one of the dogs that seemed to truly understand. So many nights spent awake sitting on the couch with his head on my lap crying. So many. The day we came home from Sweden was so difficult because every time we come home from a trip just always is. Her altar is there and I never sit by it. I collapsed on the kitchen floor crying and Pepper bolted downstairs and laid down on the floor with me, licking the tears off my face. I finally stopped crying and decided I needed to do something constructive so I took all the dogs to the north shore for a run. Pepper was slower than usual and I didn't think anything of it. I even made a joke about it with Dennis that night; maybe dogs get jet lagged, too? Or maybe he's been eating too much liver pate at my dad's house and now he's a little out of shape. We laughed about it and Pepper slept under the covers that night. It was almost a normal day and when we woke up the next morning he was blind on one eye and that was the beginning of the end but we didn't know it. I will never understand why these things happen. Death makes no sense but I hope on a soul level it does. Life is a dream and dying is waking up to all the loved ones you ever lost, putting on coffee and making you breakfast. Someone told me this when Andrea died. I don't know if Pep would make me breakfast but it does feel like it's all a dream. Thank you @sodalime_ for making us this video. It's beautiful.