edward james olmos

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The Week of June 17, 2013. Charity is dead. According to the Tampa Bay Times, The 50 worst charities in America devote less than 4% of donations raised to direct cash aid. Over the past decade, one diabetes charity raised nearly $14 million and gave about $10,000 to patients. Six spent no cash at all on their cause. You're better off throwing your money in the garbage than donating it to these con artists. At least then a homeless person might at least find your charity and buy some dope or food, fueling a secret economy, and making their own life bearable for just one more day. Speaking things limping to a slow death... The bad news keeps coming for Philly public schools... because why not fuck a dead horse in the mouth. This new round of pink slips represents a 20 percent decrease in the public school workforce. Don't expect Mayor Nutter to help, his wife is balls deep in charter school money, and when reached for comment, corpulent Governor Corbett assured parents the remaining teachers are up to the challenge of overwhelming class size and underwhelming test scores. New policies guarantee only wacky, eccentric teachers who reach out to children through asymmetrical methods will be allowed to keep their jobs. Think Dead Poets Society or the one with Edward james Olmos... He's an inner city math teacher. Who am I kidding? Philly schools are headed for Substitute 3 territory. It might be time for our students to explore different options. Let's face it, it's obvious that we don't care about funding public education, and college degrees have become as valuable as your moms fartbox. Why not cut the crap and dive into the glamorous world of internships? That might sound crazy now, but this could be a viable option in the near future. This week a judge in New York ruled that several former unpaid interns at Fox Searchlight Pictures be paid for their contributions to the 2010 film, Black Swan. This ruling, along with other similar cases, could pave the way for a world where all interns are paid. So why bother with a useless education when you can pad your resume and your wallet as an intern. It's like Hitler said, "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life." Speaking of interns, where's that kid? You! Yes you! I specifically asked for Splenda in my coffee this morning, and I definitely tasted Sweet N Low. You think I can't tell the difference? You pull some shit like that again and I'll have you running my dry cleaning for a month! What a good kid. He might get the corner office one day. Say "adios" to white people in the USA. For the first time in more than a century, the number of deaths now exceeds births among white Americans. This "natural decrease" is a sign of impending extinction, hopefully through vigorous interbreeding. I for one, welcome our dark skinned overlords. My love of spicy foods, jazz cigarettes and big bottomed girls is well known. However, I predict this news will precipitate a grand white flight to the north, similar to the mass exodus our cities suffered after desegregation. So I hope YOU like maple syrup, country-western and funny accents, cause you're moving to Canada, Honky! Hermanos y hermanas, por favor, disfrutar de una refrescante Commonwealth Cider gracias a la empresa de elaboración de la cerveza de Filadelfia. Las burbujas cosquillean tu cerebro y hacen feliz. Mi nombre es A.P. Ticker y I voy a hacer un poco tarde beber antes de mi siesta. Scrapple TV is written by: Steve Galley John Zito Scott Colan Brendan Skwire