The Onion
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God Tells IOC President To Build Ark, Gather 2 Olympians From Each Sport
The Onion 9mo ago
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The Onion's Future News From The Year 2137
The Onion 2h ago
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Man Says 'Fuck It,' Eats Lunch At 10:58 A.M.
The Onion 2d ago
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There Are People In World Who Are Concerned About Current State Of Hip-Hop
The Onion 5d ago
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Cutest Guy In Whole Office Not Even Particularly Attractive
The Onion 1w ago
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Brad Pitt Decides To Grow Out Forehead Hair
The Onion 1w ago
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Excited Man Only Two Therapy Sessions Away From Resolving Issues
The Onion 1w ago
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Couple Making Out At Bus Stop Like It's Fucking Paris
The Onion 2w ago
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Report: Saxophone Still An Okay Vehicle For Self-Expression
The Onion 2w ago
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VIRAL VIDEO: High School Sophomore Sinks Incredible, Unnecessary Half-Court Shot
The Onion 2w ago
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Businessman Does His Work Lying On Bed Like Schoolgirl
The Onion 3w ago
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Ashamed Student Affairs Committee Reveals There Aren't Any Awesome Events This Weekend
The Onion 3w ago
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Guy With 10,000 Tweets, 15 Followers About Ready To Hang It Up
The Onion 3w ago
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Jessica Simpson Goes On Nationwide Book Tour To Promote The Novel She Read
The Onion 3w ago
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Physicists Confirm They Have Found And Killed The 'God Particle'
The Onion 3w ago
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Onion News Empire Official Trailer
The Onion 4w ago
