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grover norquist

grover norquist

"DC Celebrity" - UNCENSORED

2y ago
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By popular demand, here's my uncensored performance at the 15th Annual Funniest Celebrity in Washington contest at the DC Improv. Warning: you may be slightly offended! Or not . . . Filmed by Emily on 9/10/08. LYRICS Secret Muslim terrorist politicians in house say ho!!! I'm here 'cause David Shuster had to be replaced 'Cause his cable network just got disgraced His convention coverage was a bit amiss And so apparently it comes down to this! I rep the P O L I T I C O Practice every day to perfect the flow And yeah times are tough, but I thought you should know We're the only newspaper that continues to grow? Oops, did I touch a nerve? Journalism's in the shitter and youre all disturbed I might lose my job but hey, I don't sweat Because I made my name on the Internet! DC Celebrity I don't think I am one but this drink was free? Every other contestant here is a joke Bob Barr? Yeah good luck with the pothead vote And Grover Norquist? Man I'm not trying to be mean I thought your tax policy WAS your standup routine!? Huck you won Iowa 8 months ago And now you're here telling jokes at a comedy show It's just survival of the fittest I don't mean to be rude But NOW do you believe in evolution dude? And every other contestant's male white and old So turn up your hearing aid ya 'bout to get told I could be your intern, could be your grandson But tonight you're gonna recognize I'm number one! DC Celebrity I just insulted Mike Huckabee! Been on the campaign trail a year or more And there are only three things that I know for sure McCain is old. Obama's black And if you mention either one you bound to get smacked! Obama picked Biden to be his VP Because he wanted a change in foreign policy The guy served six terms and I hate to rant But the only thing he changed was his hair implants! McCain picked the Governor of Alaska So there's just one question I have to ask ya If she got a bangin body that wed all wanna hit Does that negate the fact that she dont know shit? DC Celebrity Please don't throw your drinks at me!