obama campaign

obama campaign

Mitt Romney [Piggie of the Week]

5d ago
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July 18, 2012. Hello friends. Tis I, AP Ticker, here with more mirthful mockery of misadventurous miscreants here on Piggie of the Week. It's been a hell of a week for Mitt Romney, and I'm not about to make it any better. As CEO of Bain Capital, Romney made millions by bankrupting companies, outsourcing and off-shoring jobs, and then throwing workers and their families in the garbage can. I know it, you know it, and so does every shill on the teevee pretending that what obviously IS.... is not. Now that the Obama campaign has taken notice, Mitt's caught between a rock and a hard place. He's denied leading Bain from 1999-2002, because he can't defend what he did there. At the same time, he filed official paperwork with the SEC saying he was the CEO, chairman, and sole shareholder during this same period. It simply cannot be both. And now, the Romneybot 3000 will not -or more likely cannot- release his tax returns for the past twenty years because they will show everything he has been up to. This strategy won't work, because Romney showed twenty-THREE years worth of tax returns to John McCain in 2008, in his failed bid for vice-president. What could be SO bad that McCain would pick Crazy Sarah Palin, a woman he barely knew, instead? I would almost feel sorry for the Republicans for nominating a walking time bomb like Romney, our Piggie of the Week. The guy looks like the jerk who fired you from your only halfway decent job. The weasel who would say or do anything to get what he wanted. Hell, you can't even have a beer with him, unlike the last Republican asshole we elected. Speaking of having a beer with friends, we here at Scrapple TV want YOU to have a beer with us. Oh, not in real life: we're much too shy and retiring to even leave the house most days. We mean a VIRTUAL beer. Simply go to your refrigerator RIGHT NOW, and grab yourself an ice-cold Kenzinger. Uncap the bottle, tilt it to your lips, and savor that refreshing, quenching, malt-tastic brew as it cascades down your throat like the mighty Delaware River headwaters, only made of delicious wonderful beer. What? You say you're out? Well then get your ass down to the local distributor or deli, and pick some up RIGHT NOW. It ain't gonna drink itself, fucknut.